choices

It's nearly 2am and I am still trying to wind down from a day that began 20 hours ago. I had approximately seven hours of class and an hour of homework. Afterwards, I hurried to my estage(french term for culinary apprenticeship) at renowned Bouchon Bakery. I started working there three weeks ago. I was so excited to get the opportunity to work at a Thomas Keller institution that I did not hesitate when I was told that I would be required to work 8+ hours two days a week, Wednesday and Thursday. It didn't take long before the gravity of my commitment set in.

The first week of my estage ushered in a new era of sleeplessness and a level of exhaustion that never seemed to waiver. I found myself ragged and falling behind in my school work, but I yet I continue to hesitate to dial down my commitments. These last few weeks have forced me to reflect on ambition, happiness, and quality of life.

I am learning so much at my estage yet I feel stretched thin and ragged. Am I merely complaining about a golden opportunity or is there more to this.... I am having difficulty striking the balance between my ambition and quality of life. At the moment, I would be satisified with just some sleep.