crazy for choux

choices

2010-03-18T01:38:00.001-07:00

It's nearly 2am and I am still trying to wind down from a day that began 20 hours ago. I had approximately seven hours of class and an hour of homework. Afterwards, I hurried to my estage(french term for culinary apprenticeship) at renowned Bouchon Bakery. I started working there three weeks ago. I was so excited to get the opportunity to work at a Thomas Keller institution that I did not hesitate when I was told that I would be required to work 8+ hours two days a week, Wednesday and Thursday. It didn't take long before the gravity of my commitment set in.

The first week of my estage ushered in a new era of sleeplessness and a level of exhaustion that never seemed to waiver. I found myself ragged and falling behind in my school work, but I yet I continue to hesitate to dial down my commitments. These last few weeks have forced me to reflect on ambition, happiness, and quality of life.

I am learning so much at my estage yet I feel stretched thin and ragged. Am I merely complaining about a golden opportunity or is there more to this.... I am having difficulty striking the balance between my ambition and quality of life. At the moment, I would be satisified with just some sleep.

just beat it

2009-11-05T22:17:00.001-08:00

Finishing the "mis" for the brioche dough.

There is nothing more therapeutic than taking a french pin to a block of butter.

Release of aggression + pliable butter = brioche and a happy belly.

team six's sexy dough

2009-11-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

Leslie with team six's masterpiece.

Warning: do not over proof dough. May result in anatomical abnormalities ;)

baking techniques, week one

2009-10-31T12:58:00.000-07:00

Chef Brown demonstrating dough division and pre-shaping.

My feet ache slightly and my body constantly craves sleep, but I couldn't be happier since we are finally in the kitchen. I have just wrapped up my first week in the kitchen although it feels a lot longer since we have made an already enormous array of things. The class, baking techniques, acquaints us with basic baking and pastry methods, but more importantly it allows us to get a feel for the commercial kitchen, and the volume and pace of production. Each day of class begins with an hour lecture, which covers the basic principles underlying the methods employed in our recipes and the details of the recipe itself. Immediately after lecture, we scurry to the kitchens and head to our stations, where our (hopefully) completed mis en place awaits.

(left to right) Crumuri with Sesame Seeds, Russian Tea Cookies, two preparations of Almond Spritz, and Crumiri with a dusting of confectioner's sugar.

Section 63 of Baking and Pastry has 19 students that are divided into randomly selected teams of three's and four's. My team consists of Brynna, Chris, and moi. The teams have two day rotations on breads, cookies, cakes, etc for the three week duration of the class. Piped cookies was our first rotation and required us to produce Almond Spritz, Crumuri, and Russian Tea Cookies. I'm not sure whether it was first day nerves or my crazed search for ingredients and tools, but we nearly didn't finish our cookies. We fared better with day two of cookies, which focused on bar cookies: Fudge Brownies, Seven Layer Bars, and Pecan Diamonds. The successful execution of day two was I think in large part, not just having all our ingredients ready, but also taking the time to work on what Chef Brown calls our "mental mis en place". After my shaky first day, I decided to closely look at the recipes to get a sense of the methods, equipment, and timing necessary to complete the tasks. The "mental mis en place" seemed to work, our second day proved to less harried and the products were not only ready for dinner, but were also avidly devoured by our fellow students.

2, 3, and 4 strand Challah sprinkled with Sesame seeds(symbolizing Manna) and Poppy seeds, Sunflower Seed Batard and Pullman loaf.

Days three and four were on lean straight doughs and enriched doughs. I LOVE bread, but the production of bread admittedly was intimidating. It continually amazes me that with a few ingredients: flour, water, yeast, and salt, a whole universe of bread is borne. The addition of eggs and fats, requisite for enriched doughs, further adds to the endless possibilities. On day one of breads we were to make Baguettes, Boules, Fougasse, and Batards(which, literally means "bastard" in French). The shape of Batards is somewhere in between a Baguette and a Boule, making it a "bastard" child of the two. I walked into the kitchen with a sense of trepidation and this showed in the way I (mis)handled the dough. Surprisingly, our breads looked better than I thought they would(I'm certain no thanks to me). Day two of breads fared better with my hands developing an uncanny confidence in handling the Challah dough. Chef Brown's repeated demo's and entreaties on proper treatment of the dough had finally begun to stick. I enjoyed making the Challah and even managed to crack a few bad bread pun jokes(Holla' for Challah!) in the interim.

I hope that my rants about baking have not scared you and instead have inspired you to go into the kitchen to bake. I'm still figuring out how to link to the recipes for each thing I mentioned, but still no dice. Check back later!

i'm back

2009-10-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for far longer than I care to admit, but I have an explanation. I just started the Baking and Pastry program at CIA at Greystone. During the week I live in St. Helena in a DORM. Eeeek! Thankfully, I have a single room with my own bathroom. The dorm experience deserves a post all on it's own so more on that later.

I am taking two classes, Culinary Math and Baking Science. Class begins bright and early at 7:30 AM(originally they were scheduled for 7AM, but my instructor thought that time was a little "uncivilized", note that she is not a Chef!). We are required to take shuttles to class from the dorms so that means I have to be dressed "professionally" and ready to go by 6:45 AM at the latest if I want to catch a quick breakfast. The next shuttle doesn't come till 7:15 AM so that means no breakfast and possibly being late for class, which they made clear the first day is a big faux pas. So, if you are doing the math, you might have already guessed that my alarm rings at 5:30 AM. For most that's an ungodly hour, but surprisingly I spring out of bed without much fuss.

Back to the classes. I have Culinary Math from 7:30 - 10:00 AM. Relatively unexciting except for the first day of class when one of the Chefs walked into the class and slammed a razor in front of one of the guys and yelled at him for his unacceptable appearance and ordered him to shave immediately. Men are required to be clean shaven and this guy was only 19 years old so he didn't exactly have a lot of facial hair to begin with. That didn't save him and another guy from this Chef's scrutiny. That Chef is infamous for policing students and barking at those who do not meet the very stringent dress and appearance code. Yikes! Which basically means you can't just roll out of bed. Clothes can't be wrinkled, hair unkempt or ID missing. It sounds militant but the purpose of the dress code is to instill students with a sense of professionalism. Historically, the image of the Chef has sometimes been equated with the ruddy, red nosed drunk whose speech is laced with profanities. The CIA aims to change that image with each generation of students.

Culinary Math is followed by Baking Science from 10:00 AM till 1:30 PM with the esteemed Chef Jorin. He has an impressive number of titles after his name and a winning turn at the World Bread Baking Championships in France. It's a tad intimidating when I think of his accomplishments, but he bears a slight resemblance and similar temperament to kooky Chef from the Muppets so that makes him accessible and entertaining. The class covers the scientific underpinnings of baking through readings and kitchen experiments. We made our own butter, ricotta, marscapone, and buttermilk today. Yum!

Here's a link to my classes. If you want to see the nitty gritty of my schedule.

The classes have a ton of reading and homework so my posts may be a little sporadic, but bear with me and I will divulge the inner workings of the CIA in subsequent posts.

Thanks RDR. I needed a little nudge to get back into it.

cantaloupe popsicles

2009-09-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday was almost unbearably hot (a whopping 85F) so I decided to transform my lowly cantaloupe into a refreshing treat. It was ridiculously easy to make and even better to bite into on such a hot day. The popsicles were a departure from the unnaturally hued icy treats of my childhood both in color and nutritional value. My popsicles were three ingredient wonders: cantaloupe, sugar, water(and if you're feeling adventurous), a bit of lime juice. I combined the water and sugar into a simple syrup and tossed that mixture with the cut-up cantaloupes into my trusty new food processor to puree. Once pureed I poured them into my handy popsicle molds(although small paper cups will also work) and placed them into the freezer for about two hours. This may just be my foray into street food. I had brief fantasies of selling my frozen "pops" to the sweltering masses at Dolores Park. The hubby even insisted on calling one of the popsicles the flirtsicle. A nod to the now banned and renamed cocktail favored by my frisky friends. This adultsicle will be a one part champagne and one part vodka with a splash of pineapple juice. It's gonna be a hit! Watch for it at DP on the next SF "summer" day ;)

best ice-cream ever

2009-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it may sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but that's actually a direct quote from the hubby. He was also overheard debating himself on which was his favorite flavor, Rocky Road vs. Salted Caramel ice-cream. That's right ice-cream so good it makes you a lil' wacky. I am not a food stylist(I wish) so the picture of my latest foray into ice-cream does not do the final product justice. I guess you'll have to come over to try a scoop :)

salted caramel ice-cream

2009-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

I have not had time to play in my kitchen lately and tinker with my new ice-cream maker attachment. Today, I finally had a chance to recreate one of my(many) ice-cream flavor favorites, salted caramel ice-cream. It sounds like a weird combination, but for the nay sayers all I have to say is don't knock it till you try it. I used some authentic fleur de sel from the Camargue region in France to make this an even more luxurious treat.

First, I combed the internet for salted caramel ice-cream recipes and since I had pored over

David Lebovitz's Perfect Scoop, I had an idea of what to look for in a recipe. I decided on epicurious' version, from Gourmet magazine's August 2009 issue, it seemed pretty straight

forward.

Since I am an ice-cream novice and have never made caramel before, I will share photos and

attempt to offer an impromptu tutorial in hopes that my experiences demystify the process for other newbies or better yet save you a batch of ingredients. Here goes.....

I melted the sugar in a saute pan, stirring with a fork until dissolved and turned into an amber color. Cream is then added. The mixture is will froth up, just like picture don't be alarmed, just keep stirring until all the caramel is dissolved. The caramel is then cooled in a bowl to room temperature.

While the caramel is cooling, whisk the eggs in a separate bowl and bring just to a boil the remaining milk, cream, and sugar. Watch for the tiny little bubbles on the milk instead of bring it to a full boil. Take about a cup of hot milk and carefully pour it into the eggs in a steady stream while whisking. The first time I made custard for ice-cream I overzealously whipped the egg/milk mixture resulting in a mountain of foam. No need to go into a whipping frenzy, just incorporate the hot milk in to temper the eggs. Pour this mixture back into the saucepan with the milk and stir constantly until it thickens and coats the wooden spoon or 170F. DO NOT ALLOW TO BOIL!

If like me your eggs weren't tempered properly and there is some semblance of scrambled eggs in your custard, don't fret, strain the custard into a bowl. By some miracle(or more likely practice) my custard came out beautifully this time around. Pour cooled caramel into custard and let cool to room temperature. Cover and put batter in fridge for 3-6 hours. Ta-da! Home made ice-cream to rival high falutin' creameries and restaurants are now just hours away. Yummy! Pictures of final product to follow later tonight.

introducing mrs. rosa de la rosa

2009-09-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting blogging for a few days now, but I have a good excuse. My best friend's wedding was this weekend and I was MOH(Matron of Honor) so I have been a lil' busy. I am not exaggerating when I say that it was THE social event of the year(even surpassing her epic bachelorette). The wedding was two years in the making and was certainly worth every minute of wait. Pictures of the revelry to follow.

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Percy de la Rosa!!!

i can die now.

2009-09-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a copy of last night's menu signed by the uber talented executive chef, Daniel Patterson. I am embarrassed to admit that I giggled like a school girl when he came to our table, but the man is a food God! I'm working on a ginormous post with all the details of our stellar meal. Stay tuned.

For a readable copy of the menu, click here.

coi

2009-09-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Dapper in his seersucker suit, the hubby departed the house this morning all suited up for tonight's dining festivities. As if Sunday's food orgy were not a sufficient celebration of my birthday, the hubby has truly outdone himself by taking me to dinner tonight at two starred Michelin restaurant, Coi. Executive chef, Daniel Patterson, is a self-taught virtuoso in the kitchen. He seems to have a definite point of view about food and I am excited to partake in his edible treaties.

ode to buerre

2009-09-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

I was planning a post on pâte à choux, namely Gougeres but it was a FAIL. Instead I am sharing a picture of an apron I stitched as a homage to a "mother" ingredient, butter. Food tattoos are all the rage(at least on Top Chef) and they run the gamut from inspired to inane. I have toyed with the idea of tattoos, but never quite settling on a specific image. It is not likely that I will succumb to my body art impulses and probably never will, I'm more Donna Reed than Joan Jett.

birthday feast 1.0

2009-09-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

Since it's my birthday(and my dad's) we spent the whole day doing my/our favorite thing, EATING. It was an embarrassing orgy of food. My family devoured a massive pile of dim sum at Dim Sum King in Daly City. The table was buckling under the weight of steaming shrimp dumplings, BBQ pork buns, sesame seaweed and a host of other dim sum delicacies. We had ordered so many different dishes that there was scarcely room to even put our chopsticks down! Initially we had planned to enjoy a day in SF perhaps going to the Opera in the Park or maybe the Cal Academy Museum, but all our best intentions were waylaid by the crippling food coma we experienced after our gluttonous feast. Oh, but the day does not end there...

After taking a leisurely nap to stave off the food coma from lunch, we ventured outside to continue the birthday feast. Our destination was the Embarcadero Ferry Building where my new favorite casual restaurant, Il Cane Rosso recently opened. I had visited this Italian outpost and had a swoon worthy beef bollito sandwich with a cherry tomato preserve and dandelion greens for lunch so when I heard that they were doing a fixed price three course meal for $25 on Sundays, I happily used my birthday as an excuse to try it.

The hubby and I met some friends for the communal style Sunday dinner. As the sky increasingly darkened and the rain splattered on the sidewalk, we sat outside taking a moment to note the great view of the Bay Bridge. It was a refreshing change of pace to not be handed a menu to mull over. Instead we paid our $25 and headed to our table. Our menu was simple but hinted of the Fall's upcoming bounties. The meal began with a Marquita Farm Sugar Pumpkin and Lentil Salad with a sherry vinaigrette. It was delicious and left me with a growing excitement for the upcoming course. Our main course was a Spit-Roasted Fennel and Orange Rubbed Porchetta accompanied with Sumer Squash drizzled with House-made Lemon Oil with Mint and Dirty Girl Fresh Cannellini Beans with Vegetable Sofrito. Each element of the course was tasty and simply served in family style bowls and platters. If I closed my eyes I can almost imagine ourselves back in Pomaia enjoying this same meal amongst the rows of olive trees. The meal was capped off with warm Pink Lady Apple Cobbler with an Almond Crumble Topping. I opted to pair my dessert with Il Cane Rosso's soft serve vanilla ice-cream, it was unsurprisingly a winning match.

Both of my birthday meals were delightful in each of their own ways, but what really set them apart from many other meals was that they were shared with family and friends who so graciously allowed me to bask in the warmth of their birthday well wishes. I couldn't have wished for a better way to spend my birthday :)

please don't judge me cause i licked the bowl

2009-09-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned earlier the super thoughtful hubby gave me an ice-cream maker for my birthday. Awesome, I know! I wasted no time and put that baby to work.

It's also my dad's birthday tomorrow so the inaugural ice-cream flavor was his choosing, he readily requested the classic, Rocky Road. I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree(or in this case the bowl from the spoon?) because I was also craving some Rocky Road. I made the chocolate batter this morning and chilled it for eight hours. The batter needed that much time to chill and I needed that time to recover. Whew! With a custard base the batter was not the easiest to make. A fine line exists between scrambled chocolate eggs and creamy chocolate custard. Thankfully my attempt landed on the custard side and the ice-cream experiment was still on track. I toasted some chopped almonds and purchased ludicrously priced gourmet marshmallows(definitely worth the $), which were then folded into the batter. I was unsure on when to add the nuts and after reading and re-reading David Lebovitz's recipe and introduction and not finding the answer, I decided to add the almonds before the batter was churned. BIG MISTAKE! I almost broke my new toy. It made this horrible clicking sounds as it attempted to turn the batter. The ice-cream gods must have been smiling at me because the batter did not have to be churned for as long as recommended before it was at my desired consistency thereby saving my beloved ice-cream maker from a certain death.

Perhaps I am a tad biased, but my Rocky Road ice-cream rocks(excuse the pun)! It is creamy without being too dense and the roasted almonds and marshmallows are the perfect foil to the richness of the ice-cream. YUM! I wonder what I should make next...

saving soul food farms

2009-09-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

Last week Soul Food Farms suffered a devastating fire. The farm is located in the North Bay and have pasture-raised chicken and eggs. It is one of a growing number of farms dedicated to sustainable and ethical agriculture, but is now is in danger of failing due to the damage the farm has sustained.

Local restaurants and businesses such as Bi-Rite, Chez Panisse, Coi, Mission Street Foods and Pizzaiola have stepped up and are reportedly organizing benefits and a raffle to raise funds for the farm. It is encouraging to see community support for local farms whose goal is not simply profit, but to provide healthy and humanely raised food. If you have either time or money to spare, please consider donating or volunteering. Click on the link to Soul Food Farms blog for details.

presents

2009-09-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

My birthday is not actually till Sunday, but I received early bday presents from my hubby and best friend and I can't help but share them.

Ta-da!!! My very own ice-cream maker attachment for my Kitchenaid. It's my very first attachment and also the one I have been lusting for the most. It doesn't look like much but this baby is the key to my own homemade concoctions. I've had nearly 31 years experience with ice-cream and all it's many incarnations so I think I'm ready to whip up my own creation. To help me in this worthy endevour is the gift my best friend gave me, The Perfect Scoop by David Lebovitz.

Before the ice-cream maker was even a glint in my eye, I was already coveting this book. I'm pretty much a sucker for most ice-cream related items so a whole book devoted to the pursuit of its perfection is a fitting gift. YAY! I wuv bufdays :)

These lovely presents deserve to be worshipped and thus I dub a new holiday, Sundaes on Sunday. It will be the day we gather together in the house of dairy to genuflect upon this sacred altar of ice-creamery.

be still my beating heart

2009-09-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

At the corner of Ceasar Chavez and Church sits an unassuming storefront with a beguiling sign of a rooster in a chef's toque, Omnivore Books on Food. The name while an apt description of the store's contents cannot capture the magic of the place. It's not only a bookstore wholly dedicated to food(a HUGE draw in itself), but it is also place that seeks to cultivate a community of food lovers. It boasts an event calendar that includes readings with food luminaries like Frank Bruni, David Leibowitz, and rumoured appearance of celebrated chef Thomas Keller. Omnivore Books does not content itself with only trading on food legends but also hosts events such as the pie contest, where one can either enter a pie or for a mere $5 sample all the goodies. Yum! If that were not enough there's the books. The store carries a great selection of new, signed and antique books. If you are book or food lover(better yet, both!), guard your wallet zealously there will be many tempting tomes to tickle and inspire your taste buds. Even with a healthy dose of restraint I walked out of there with three titles, An Edible History of Humanity by Tom Standage, The Sweet Life in Paris by David Lebovitz, and If You Can Stand the Heat by Dawn Davis. Go visit my new favorite place and tell me what you think.

Oh, did I mention that they also sold farm fresh eggs. That's a check-out impulse buy I can get behind!

cia

2009-09-08T10:57:00.001-07:00

In 27 days I will be leaving SF for my new home in St. Helena, CA. October 5th is the first day of school for the Baking and Pastry program at the CIA at Greystone. Since the program boasts eight hour days filled with lectures and kitchen time, I will be living in the dorms on campus. Eeeek! I feel a little strange being 30 years old and living in a dorm. Thankfully I scored a coveted single so I will not have to deal with roommates or shared shower facilities.

I am super excited to begin the program. The hubby even bought me an early birthday present. My textbook, Baking and Pastry: Mastering the Art and Craft. I have been riffling through the pages of this behemoth and salivating over gorgeous confections that I soon will be learning to make. I'm feeling inspired so check your mailboxes because if I have your address, you may just be a recipient of one of my experiments!

watermelon gazpacho

2009-09-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

Last summer I fell in love with gazpacho. It seemed like every restaurant we dined in served a version of this refreshing summer soup. So when I spotted bright red ripe early girl tomatoes while shopping I decided to try my hand at gazpacho, but with a twist. I spied a recipe at chow that added watermelon into the mix.

With my tomatoes and watermelon at hand I attempted my maiden voyage to the isle of gazpacho. At first the results were a tad to sweet and the texture iffy, but with addition of cabernet vinegar and more time in the blender I had an edible version of this classic summer dish.

After my mediocre attempt at gazpacho, I realized that perhaps I should have done more research on how gazpacho is classically prepared. I am easily lured by exotic sounding recipes and beautiful food styling, but relying on these external cues does not contribute to my true understanding of how any dish is prepared. With this in mind I am going to end my over reliance on recipes and focus on fundamentals. This isn't going to be easy....

things that keep me up at night

2009-09-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

It is not nightmarish images like the incubus and floating horse heads in Henri-Fuseli's The Nightmare, but blog posts of real life chefs discussing the massive loans and paltry pay that eventually lead some of them to leave the kitchen.

I am not going into the culinary business hoping to become the next big food star or to have a namesake restaurant, but I'm still scared. WIthout a doubt I am excited about culinary school and working in the food industry, but I am wary of how my(highly probable) permanent low wage status will affect the financial dynamic of my marriage. I am married to an impossibly sweet and supportive man who has encouraged me to pursue my passion for food. I worry that following my dreams without much regard for compensation will shackle him to jobs he may not like because I do not make enough money. It was one thing to make no money as a teacher, I was happy and single. My choices were my own. Career choices are a whole another story when it involves considering another person. Aaargh! I can't help but childishly wish for a pat solution, but I know there's no such thing. Maybe I'm just being a negative nelly, but I just want to go into this new culinary adventure with a realistic view of its challenges and rewards.

bath time

2009-09-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

I know I am beating a dead horse by waxing poetic about Julia Child, but I just can't help it the woman was the SHITE! Not only did she write one of the most influential cookbooks of our time, but she was also cheeky. Take a peep at this adorable picture she did with her hubby, Paul. I am seriously thinking of recreating/reinterpreting this irreverent photo.

If anyone is actually out there(doubtful) and is interested in trading their photography skills for some yummy treats, I am your girl.

julia

2009-09-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

I finally saw Julie/Julia and of course I loved it. Like the book, My Life in France, it filled me with an overwhelming sense of possibility. I first read the book while living in Italy. I had just gotten married and had given up my tenured teaching position to move to the Tuscan countryside, where my husband was studying Tibetan Buddhism. The plan was for me to find a teaching position in an international school while my husband studied. It didn't exactly work out that way. Instead I became a stay at home wife with an abundance of time. To fill my days I read and I cooked. Amongst my stack of books was Julia's memoir.

Full disclosure; I am a self declared food lover and had heard of Julia Child, but really didn't know much about her besides that she had written an influential cookbook. I had never laid my eyes on any of her cookbooks before our honeymoon in Biarritz when the woman we rented our apartment from insisted that I borrow a copy of Julia and Jaques Cooking at Home.

It was with my relative ignorance of the phenomenon that is JOOOlia that I began to read about her improbable journey to culinary superstardom(I am taking liberties with the spelling to channel her distinctive voice). What struck me was that the great Julia Child could not boil an egg for the first 30 years of her life! She had a reputation for being a horrible cook. It was encouraging to read about the transformation from kitchen newbie to culinary goddess. But what is truly remarkable is that she had started this endeavor at 35 years old! Her accomplishments did not happen overnight or even in a year. Her magnum opus, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, took ten years to write and publish. She diligently studied, tested, wrote and re-wrote her recipes. Julia's measured movements in the kitchen seemed scientific, carefully teasing out each variable that would affect the outcome of the recipe.

With the release of the movie and the abundance of press surrounding it, there is a resurgence in Julia's popularity. Certainly this attention and acclaim is well deserved, but it also makes me feel like I am merely jumping on the culinary bandwagon when I say that Julia, but more accurately her memoir, has been influential in my decision to change my life.

I am going to culinary school in part because Julia showed me that I am never too old to become the person I want to be. It may be trite, but for me it also happens to be true.

about

2009-09-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hiya. I'm Emilee and I love to talk about, read, cook, and best of all eat food. To quell my foodie beast I have decided to abandon my post as Kindergarten teacher and attend culinary school.

Why would I abandon a fulfilling and meaningful career in education for a life of back breaking labor and even less financial compensation than teaching you might wonder. It was a tough decision, I still miss my students, but I just love food and cooking. I don't want it to simply be a hobby or a passing interest but an integral part of my life.

Alright, touch feely time is over. Go back to the dudery ;)